Wednesday, March 10, 2004

introduction...or re-introduction, if you will

Well. I started this blog years ago and never kept up with it. In fact, I sort of forgot about it. Now, I am done with school and married and I actually have *time* on my hands! (Gasp! Imagine that!) And, I really want to get back into the swing of writing, so I thought blogging might be a good way to start.

I feel like an introduction is in order, so here's a bit about me. My name is Kathleen. I am 22 years old, and I live in Portland, Maine with my husband Brett. We are originally from Portland, Oregon but lived in Seattle for 4 years during college. I work as an office manager in a small software company, so I tend to have a bit of time on my hands. Hence, the blogging.

I?ll probably talk a lot about all of the changes that have happened in my life in the past year, since that's what is on my mind right now: getting married in July, moving to Maine in November, changing jobs several times, etc.

So I will get right down to it.

I am pretty freaking grumpy today. Well, to be honest, I've been really grumpy for a few weeks and I can't seem to get un-grumpy, which I hate. Feeling out of control, especially of myself, is not something I like.

I guess I'm coming to realize that life, and especially marriage, is NOT easy. Maybe I assumed that since we dated for over 4 years before we got married, that things would be easy. Everyone says that the first year of marriage is the hardest, and for the first six months I laughed that off.

"Hard?" I would scoff. "No way! I love being married. It's wonderful! It's amazing! blah, blah, blah."

Now it's like the crap has hit the fan and I am transformed into a grumpy, nagging, mean, yelling wife. Ugh. I don't want to be like this but every time I resolve to be different I fall right back into it.

Choosing your battles is a lot harder than it seems. I think that's a lot of what I'm learning; that I really do have to choose my battles, because if I pick on every little thing, he won't listen at all when the big things come along and I really need him to listen. Heh. That's my psychological epiphany for the day.

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