Gah. I don't know what was wrong with me yesterday. I was a mess. I felt like crap all day, until I got home. Brett was already home, and he came into the kitchen and gave me a hug. He asked me why I was sad, and I told him all of the things I said here yesterday, and more. There was one thing in particular that I didn't know how he'd react...but he was so sweet about it, I wanted to cry even more, only in a good way.
After that, I felt better, and reassured. I went to get a movie and then we had a nice relaxing evening watching Revenge of the Nerds (which I had never seen!) and Wallace and Gromit. In a grand gesture of generosity, Brett told me to get whatever I wanted at the video store, which is something that almost never happens. (Movie choosing, for us, is usually a negotiation dance of sorts, wherein we make suggestions, and offer concessions, and eventually come to some kind of agreement.) So we watched two very silly movies (well, three, because we watched both A Grand Day Out and The Wrong Trousers) and laughed and life seemed ok again.
Tonight, we're going to clean in anticipation of having some friends over for Christmas Eve dinner. I'm going to make vegetarian Tortilla Soup (a long, involved, 3-to-4-hour process, but oh-so-worth-it.) and for dessert, individual chocolate souffle cakes with fresh whipped cream. MMMM. We had that last year and it was so good I decided to make it every year we're home on Christmas Eve.
Tomorrow, I'll go to the grocery store, do any last minute cleaning, and then cook. We'll have dinner with Anita (from school), Brad (from Brett's work), and maybe another friend from Brett's work. Then Brett and I will go to the 10:00 Christmas Eve service at the Episcopal Cathedral downtown. It's always a beautiful service, and a full Eucharist, so there will be communion and a (short) sermon, with lots of carols played on their gorgeous organ. I am really looking forward to it.
Christmas Day, we have no plans. We have a few movies coming from Netflix (side note: if you have Netflix, email me! I'll put you on my friends list...) and will probably just be lazy and eat cinnamon rolls. One year, I tried to make cinnamon rolls from scratch, which ended up being way too much work, and they weren't even that good. So, although I am embarrassed to admit it, I will buy the kind in the can that you get from the refrigerated case. You know, the ones that are full of fat and hydrogenated oil that you have to bang against the counter to open. Oh well. They taste good so I don't care. We never buy them otherwise, so one day a year can't hurt too much.
Anyway. I just wanted to say thanks to those of you who commented and emailed yesterday. I really appreciate having friends like you.