Wednesday, January 04, 2006

I try to be a nice person. Really. I do. I want to be a kind, caring person. I want to be the kind of person people say, "Wow, she's just nice. Why is she like that? How is she so different?"

But it's sooo hard. There has been someone who has come into my life recently (I'm going to be vague although some of you may have heard me talk about this person and will know to whom I refer) and really? New person -- as I will call him or her -- annoys me to no end.

I feel bad, because I can see some of new person's intentions, and I think those intentions are good underneath it all. But the reality is that new person DRIVES ME BATTY and I am SO FED UP with this person. It's just too much. All of it...too much.

I know it's ok not to like someone. But I don't want to be a total ass to new person, either...even though that is how new person makes me want to act. The difficult part for me isn't necessarily being nice to new person's face -- it's how I talk about new person when new person is not in the room. That is when I tend to break down and go uber-ultra-snarky. I think it's ok to commiserate with other people who are dealing with new person -- I think I just need to watch myself in terms of how far I take that.

Maybe the whole thing is just a lesson in patience and in being nice and kind (even in my head) when it's really freaking hard.


Randy said...

I think I know your "new" person, and all I can say is to paraphrase a quote I once heard:
"I shall learn patience from the impatient, kindness from the unkind and tolerance from the intolerant . . . and to these teachers, I shall remain, . . .grateful

Kathleen said...

Amen, Randy. That's what I'm trying to take away from this...that it's a lesson in patience and, as cheesy as it sounds, in building character.