Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Random thoughts for the day

-- I love my iPod. I would not be able to focus and finish the story I'm working on right now if I couldn't just put my music on (currently, it's a compilation of Team Strike Force songs) and block out the rest of the world.

-- Big things are happening in my life, exciting things. (NO, I am NOT pregnant, which is what several people have thought.) I can't really share specifics here yet, but I will as soon as I can. Probably about 3 weeks or so.

-- It's been really cool to be in touch with some old friends through MySpace. Hearing from people I had lost touch with has made me happy.

-- I have been reading a TON. Like a book every other day. I don't know why but it's great. I just read a really good Lord Peter Wimsey book -- Have His Carcase. Loved it. It's one of my favorite Lord Peter stories.

-- Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday. Maybe I'll go to the service at the Episcopal Cathedral if they have one in the evening, since Brett's going to be in class.

That's it. I have to get back to writing my last story of the day but I felt like I needed a break and I felt guilty for not updating in a long time...

I'll leave you with a photo I took last week in Portland of the sunset over Back Bay. It was so beautiful.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

I like weekends.

I don't really have much to say these days, I guess. There's not that much going on. I've been working an awful lot, between 45 and 50 hours per week, for the past month or so, and those 10-14 hour days leave me pretty well exhausted by the time I get home. Hence, the lack of posts other than "Helllp! Life sucks!" ones.

Today, however, has been a reasonably good Saturday. I slept till about 9:30, and then did a little cleaning up in the kitchen, then read the Chronicles of Narnia for a while. I've just been lounging around, which has been nice. Brett's on his way home from work right now, and he's going to stop and get pizza dough for us to make pizza with tonight. Hooray! I love pizza. We have a movie to watch, too, so it should be a good evening. .

We haven't really been seeing much of each other lately. I have Westbrook Council meetings Monday nights, he has class Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday nights. So if we see each other during the week it's only after 10 p.m., usually.

Oh well. Only 84 days until he graduates. Yahoo!! I will be glad for him to be done with school, at least for now. I'm sure he'll go back and get his master's at some point, but not right away. We're both ready for a break from the scholarly lifestyle, as it were.

It's really windy this weekend. I kind of like it! We've had gusts of between 40 and 50 mph, so that's fun. It was so strong at a couple of points last night that it felt like it was shaking the house. Thankfully we didn't lose power while we were home -- although we came home from having a bit of a date night to find all of our clocks blinking. So I suppose it went out for a little while.

Anyway. Like I said, not much to say. I should go finish cleaning up some more in the kitchen, and then see if we need anything from the grocery store for our pizza tonight. I should also go put in a load of laundry or two, also. But I felt like I should make a post that wasn't full of stress and freaking-out-ness for a change...

Monday, February 13, 2006

oh, just shut up, Leen.

I've done more than my fair share of griping here lately. I know this. But unfortunately, I must gripe again. I just can't help myself, I guess.

Why, oh why, can nothing go right for me work-wise these days? Stories falling through, last minute scrambling to find something else, anything else to write about, people just not calling me back, freak snowstorms that push back interviews to a point where I'm standing on a precipice praying I can get it all done in time...it's just no good. And it's extremely, extremely stressful. To the point where I am afraid I'm going to implode or something. Or else just turn into an alcoholic. (Last week? I had beer with lunch on Wednesday, nearly a whole bottle of wine with dinner Wednesday [yikes!!!], beer with lunch on Friday, and beer with dinner on Friday. I don't wanna be a lush!!!)

Sometimes I wish I had a job that I didn't have to take home with me, a job that was strictly 9-5 that I could just be done with at the end of every day. But I had that before this job, and I wasn't really happy with it either. So I don't really know *what* I want. I think I just need to focus on being happy where I am and being happy with what I have, and try to calm down a little and realize, like my co-worker Lucas said, "The paper is going to come out no matter what." And that is true. I guess every week can't be a fantastic, great week, and some weeks are going to be crappier than others. The past two are two of those crappy ones, I think.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

mmmm, beer.

Aaaaah. (That was a sigh of contentment, not a scream.) Just got back from lunch with the co-workers, wherein we consumed Guinness. Mmmm. It was good times. It's not something I normally do -- drink in the middle of the afternoon -- but I made an exception today. It was nice.

I've been meaning to post this for a while now. I took the photo a few days ago in Gorham and it makes me crack up every time I look at it.

I mean, what? I can just imagine the conversation between the managers, "Yeah, that lettuce, he'd make a good employee. Nice and crisp." "But what about the tomato? He'd be good, too." "No, he's just not fresh enough."

I don't know. Maybe the beer is getting to me. It probably is. (I'm a lightweight.) But still. It makes me laugh every time I see it. I question why the sign-putter-upper-people didn't put the Now Hiring on the top row?

I suppose some things will always remain a mystery.

Blah-og (get it? like combining blah and blog? yeah, ok, not so much.)

I have soooo many things I want to post right now, but zero time to do it. As of right now, 8 a.m. on Wednesday, I have already worked roughly 31 hours this week. In two days. AUGH. And I'll probably work another, oh, six or seven hours today, which will bring the total somewhere in the realm of 40 hours in three days.

Blech. I was not cut out for this. I am no workaholic. If anything, I'm the opposite. I would soooo much rather slack off and not do stuff. But no, I actually do care about the paper I put out (notice how I say, "the paper I put out. Because really, it's pretty much the Kathleen Walker Show over at the Gazette. All Kathleen, all the time.) so therefore, I do waaaay too much to ensure that it's at least kind of decent.

Anyway. Enough complaining. I'll be ok. I just need to get through this afternoon, then I am sooo coming home and crashing on the couch, (quite possibly with some wine or another alcoholic beverege -- gin, for instance) and watching last night's taped episode of Gilmore Girls as well as several of the episodes that will be on the Season 2, Disc 2 that will arrive in the mail today. Gilmores, take me away to your fantasy world, wherein Lorelai can afford to buy what look to be $90 t-shirts and unlimited pairs of boots and really cute designer purses, not to mention takeout food every damn night, on her innkeeper's salary. And I might point out that she's rarely even AT the inn these days...and Rory. Rory of the equally cute clothes, boots, and purses, and she of the never ending $4 coffee in hand, she of NO JOB and full time school...but I digress. All that to say that it must be nice.

Ok, enough. I need to wrap this up and get to work before the tenor of this post gets any more negative...

Thursday, February 02, 2006

To everyone, but especially to all my Snarkie friends --


Wednesday, February 01, 2006

a lazy copycat, that's me.

I'm going to steal a style of posting from Amalah, and give you the timeline recap of my evening.

As you will notice, I posted this afternoon at 4:33 that I hoped to be productive and get things done. My plan was, incidentally, to come home and clean my house in anticipation of Carolyn's visit this weekend. I'd do at least half of the cleaning tonight so I wouldn't have to do it all tomorrow. Well, Carolyn, I hope you'll forgive me if there are a few stray cat-hair-shed-balls under the futon, or a few dishes in the sink, or some unidentified goop (probably ice cream) that Brett dripped on the front of our impossible to keep clean white cabinets...or that our upstairs is such a wreck I don't even want to go up there, which is why it's a wreck, because I don't have to go up there, so I don't care about keeping it neat and tidy.

Anyway. That last sentence made no sense at all. So, then, on to the post...

My day, Amalah-style

2:30 Decide I should leave work soon because I've already worked 30 hours this week.

3:00 Reaffirm my decision to leave work.

3:20 Say to my co-worker, "I think I'll get out of here."

3:50 Actually leave work.

4;20 Arrive home, greet cat. Turn on space heater and oven to try to warm the house up from its frigid 54-degree state without having to use up any of our preeeecious heating oil.

4:30 Check email and message boards. Reply to email from Carolyn.

4:33 Update blog, proceed to putz around on the internet.

4:33-5:15 Let us call these the lost minutes, because I really don't remember anything about them. I must have spent them online, but what I did will remain a mystery, just like JFK's death or, um, some other mystery. (It's late, my mind is toast. I can't think of another good mystery off the top of my head.)

5:15 Look up, realize the house is now dark and I am freezing.

5:20 Shove clean laundry on bed/futon aside and commence reading under the covers with a hot water bottle on my feet and the cat curled up against me under the blanket.

5:31 Become bored with book and skip ahead about 100 pages to see what happens.

6:15 Realize I haven't eaten anything but a donut and some soymilk (breakfast) and a salad and some french fries (lunch) all day. Contemplate making dinner.

6:17 Rifle through cupboards and fridge looking for something I want.

6:18 Notice pile of paper on kitchen counter. Commence sorting of said paper.

6:23 Find forms that need filling out and returning in pile. Fill out forms and seal in envelope.

6:30 Light candles on counter near where pile of paper once was. (Pile of paper is now spread into three piles of paper, perhaps in an effort to sort it.)

6:34 Take junk mail/papers and put into bag for use in fireplace.

6:37 Check email again. Find cute e-card from Bree in my inbox. Read message board updates. Go to Amalah and see she has updated again this week.

6:38 Read Amalah's update. Realize I never finished reading her archives.

6:39-7:50 Read more of Amalah's archives, bringing me up to July 22, 2004. I still have a ways to go but it's some progress.

7:50 Realize I should get off my butt and get something done. And maybe eat.

7:52 Rifle through cabinets, fridge and freezer again. Notice bottle of gin in freezer and contemplate drinking some. Opt for a Coke instead. (We have no tonic, and gin and Coke just doesn't have the right ring to it.)

7:55 Take my coke back to the futon/bed with the now lukewarm hot water bottle (that is an oxymoron. I suppose I should say, "lukewarm water bottle," but really, it's a hot water bottle so calling it a lukewarm water bottle would be weird. not like calling it a lukewarm hot water bottle isn't, but anyway. I digress.) and commence reading again, starting back before I skipped 100 pages.

8:20 Catch up to where I was before I skipped ahead.

9:11 Look at clock and chide self for not cleaning like I planned. Return to reading.

9:54 Call Brett. He asks if I can bring him his Hasselblad. I say ok. (At least it will get me off the couch.)

10:03 Leave to take the camera. Realize there is almost no gas in the car.

10:12 On highway. Gas light comes on. Pray that I will make it to Brett's work.

10:14 Pull up to the parking booth where Brett's working tonight. Hand camera over. Recieve very perfunctory kiss.

10:15 Grumble that there were not more kisses to be had.

10:16 Arrive at gas station. Realize that I am wearing a god-awful combination: black peacoat over red wool sweater and black t-shirt, paired with extremely colorful blue and white striped pajama pants.

10:17 Pump gas, avoiding looks from other gas-pumpers.

10:19 Approach turnpike entrance ramp. The light is red, so I slow down. The car in front of me? Runs the light, without even stopping. Way. To. Go. That's some good driving, that is.

10:20 Bad-light-running-drivers somehow manage to pull out of the toll plaza ahead of me and go 30 miles per hour as we exit the highway on-ramp onto the highway.

10:21 Speed past bad-slow-driving-light-running-drivers as soon as the barrier between the highway and on-ramp stops.

10:28 Recieve call from sister, who had her first day at a new job today.

10:31 Arrive home. Continue to chat with sister.

10:34 Sister's cell phone disconnects us.

10:37 Check email. Again. For the seventy-gajillionth time tonight.

10:42 Begin writing this post.

11:10 Finish writing this post, and decide to get in bed and read.

So much for cleaning...well, Carolyn, at least you'll get to see how we really live, and not the pretty-clean-perfect-house life I would have liked to portray. ;-p
At work this morning, we got a press release from someone at the state legislature that was kind of in response to some of the immigration/border control stuff Bush talked about in his speech last night.

And the press release? Called it "BOARDER control." As if there are problems with tenants, you know, like New Mexico or Michigan's Upper Peninsula need to be evicted for playing their stereo too loud. Or, in another light, that Canada is late on the rent or something.

Anyway. It made me laugh. Which is a good thing today, becuase of just random annoying crappy crap. I am exhausted. I feel like I work really hard and that sometimes it's all futile. But that's all I'm going to say about that.

I am going to go read one of my library books now, and then clean up a bit in preparation for Carolyn's visit. Brett's working until midnight so I have the house to myself. I need to use the opportunity to get stuff done.