This is just kind of my thoughts as they're coming out right now...there's nothing earth-shattering here, just thoughts about life and what's going on right now.
So Brett's out of town this weekend. He left tonight at 6. He's going to the Mopeds Gone Wild rally in Richmond, VA.
It makes me feel kind 0f melancholy. For one thing, I wish I could have gone too. Unfortunately, I just can't miss 2 days of work. I would have to take the days without pay, which we cannot afford right now, and it would make things really hard for me in terms of getting the paper out.
For another thing, he's going right by Carolyn's, as well as Julie'shouse. Like within 20 miles. So not only could I have gone to a moped rally, I could have spent the weekend with them! Oh well. I am really trying not to dwell on that, and not to mope about it, but it's hard. I would have loved to hung out with those girls this weekend...
As something of a consolation, I was bad and got takeout Indian food for dinner, and now I'm at my friend Becca's house, chilling out and waiting till she gets home. We're going to watch CSI and just veg. So that will be nice.
I am really hoping to find the time and energy this weekend to get some packing done. We roll outta here in 54 days...I'll be in Seattle for 7 of those, and Brett's parents will be here for another five of those. Plus there is work and all...so the bottom line is, I really need to get some packing done. I think I may start with something easy this weekend, like books, just so I can say that I've done something. I really want to get started on the kitchen, too, since that always seems to take forever.
I also need to try to clean the house, at least a little. With me working like 50 hours a week, and Brett working about 30 plus going to school full-time and finishing his senior thesis, neither of us have had the time or energy to keep the house in decent shape.
It meant a lot this week; Brett apologized for how busy he is and how messy our house is and how we never get to see each other and how we don't have any money, etc etc etc. It was sweet of him to say that and to acknowledge that it's been hard on me the past few months and years.
At this point, we're both (exhaustedly, doggedly) holding on by the skin of our teeth and just hoping and praying we can make it through the next 54 days, emotionally, physically, financially, until we are back in Seattle.
Maybe we're pinning too much hope on the idea that things will be good in Seattle, but already I can see several ways in which I know it will be better. For one thing, Brett won't be in school, so we'll have more time together. Also, he'll be able to work full-time, making probably 1 1/2 times as much as he is now. We'll both almost certainly be making more money. It will be WARM. We'll get to see our families more. We won't have a freaking car. (We're selling it when he gets back from this weekend. We won't need one in Seattle.) Not having a car will mean we'll walk more, and will probably mean I'll lose weight. (Which I need to do. Living in Maine, not being able to get out in the winter, not having time to cook good food...all of this has made me gain weight, just enough to make me feel really blah and kind of fat.)
Anyway...I don't mean to be all meh and melancholy and boring. I've thought several times in the past week or so that I need to just take the next 54 days for what they are, and enjoy being here while I'm here. I need to hang out with my friends here, and go to the lighthouses one more time, and maybe drive to Acadia one day. I should do all of the random things I have thought about doing a million times and yet have never done, like going to the Narrow Gauge Rail Museum downtown. I should eat at Kahtadin again. I should go see where the senior Bushes summer in Kennebunkport. I should bike around Peaks Island again. You know, all of those random, stupid things that I won't be able to do once we move.
Tomorrow, after work, I'm going to go to the library, and to get new tires on the Kia, and in the evening, I'm going to go to a play in Westbrook. I'm excited about it -- they are performing The Phantom Tollbooth. As I posted back at the end of last year, it's one of my favorite books ever. So I am excited to see the story performed!
Anyway, I should wrap this up. Becca will be back soon and then it will be time to watch CSI. Yahoo!