Wednesday, March 15, 2006

the waiting game.

Maybe it's a combination of the season, and of the place we're at in life right now, but it seems like I'm just in a state of limbo, waiting waiting waiting for the next thing to come along.

As most of you know by now, Brett and I are moving back to Seattle exactly 69 days from today. We both feel as though we're in limbo, waiting to get back to Seattle and start our lives up again -- make real money, pay off debt, save money, get ready to buy a house and have kids. I know it won't be just like picking up where we left off in Seattle, but at least it will be familiar, and there are a lot of old and new friends we'll be able to reconnect with.

I formally handed in my notice last Friday, which means a few things: I can talk about the fact that we're leaving, and that I only have 49 days of work left. Woo-hoo! Having already worked 32 and a half hours as of noon today, I am looking forward to getting a break. It's looking like this week is easily going to be another 50-hour week...fuuuuuun.

Anyway, March in Maine is torturous. It's a month where, in other states, spring has sprung. My mom emailed me this week and said, "It is so spring-like here. The trees are blossoming and the daffodils in my yard are blooming." But here, it's still fully winter. Last week, the weather was in the 20's all week, and there were flurries too. Then, last weekend, we had 60 degree weather and sun. Today, it's snowy again. I wish the weather would make up its mind that it is SPRING! I am so ready to see some flowers, leaves, green-ness again!

I am just so ready for spring, in every sense. Brett graduates on May 14 and I can't wait. (Only 60 days from today!)

This state of limbo isn't very fun to be in. I feel in a funk, honestly. Just very blah and bored and annoyed with things. And that's no way to be. Even if I am looking forward to how our lives will be after Brett graduates and we move, that doesn't mean I should blow off what our lives are like now, and cease to enjoy them, as much as that would almost be easier to do than to make the effort to enjoy how things are now.

Looking back through my posts during the past few months, I find that it seems I've felt this way a lot. And the times I haven't posted about it have been more numerous than the times I have...and that's kind of sad.

So anyway. I am trying to strike some kind of balance of enjoying our remaining months here in Maine, while gearing up for the move and all of the changes it will bring.

As this move is becoming more and more real, I can't help but feel a little sad that we'll be leaving this place, as much as I've wanted to move home for the past two and a half years. There are people I'll miss, and places I'll miss...I guess anything looks better when you're looking back on it than when you're experiencing it.


becca said...

... i will miss my kat and bretto very much. :-(

rebecca said...

I'm excited for you! You'll have to try your best to stop by on the way back to the PNW!!! But yes, I understand your feelings. Ask me again in another 6 months! :) hehe