Sunday, April 09, 2006

you'll probably all think I'm crazy now, if you didn't before

I've been having the strangest dreams lately.

They're not bad, necessarily, just kind of disturbing. Well, ok, the part in one of my dreams last night where I saw an entire wedding party brutally shot...that part was really disturbing. And bad. And gross. And the fact that I didn't even seem to be freaked out by that in my dream? Was bad too.

But that's not what I mean. I mean, yeah, that's bad and weird, but what I've been dreaming lately in these dreams is different than that. The dreams are kind of recurring, not because it's the same exact dream over and over, but because the same themes recur in all of them. That theme involves me doing something I consider to be destructive, over and over again. (Not like killing someone, but something that would be destructive more in an emotional way.) In my dream, I know it's destructive and yet I keep doing it, knowingly and willfully. It's really strange.

It's starting to creep me out and piss me off. I dream these things, and then the dreams and the images from them stay in my head for at least a day or two afterward, sometimes longer.

Augh!!! Go away, weird dreams! I don't need you messing with my head like this!

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