Friday, September 22, 2006

open letter

Dear extremely loud upstairs neighbors,

Look. I get it, ok? I get that kids are loud. I get that babies cry. I get that toddlers want to run around. I've tried to have patience, for the sake of your kids, and because I know that I'll probably have a baby in an apartment someday and I want people to have compassion on me when that time comes.

But what I don't get is why, first of all, you have three children living in this tiny, tiny shoebox of an apartment, which is a violation of your lease. I also don't get why you don't just leave, now that they are trying to evict you for said violation. I also don't get why in the name of sweet baby Jesus in the manger the kids -- ALL of them -- are up until unholy hours (translation: until 10 p.m., 11 p.m., 12 a.m., 1 a.m., even 2 a.m. sometimes) every night.

Well, maybe I do get that last one. Maybe it's because you never leave your apartment. Maybe it's because four people in a 6-700 square foot space is a little tight. Maybe it's because there is something wrong with the baby that he/she cries nearly constantly and since you never leave (for some mysterious and suspicious reason) (a man brings you a bag of rice every four or five days and that's supposed to do it for your food ration as well as for your human interaction with anyone other than your children) (my guess is that you're illegal immigrants) you can't take the baby to the doctor.

I have tried, believe me, I have tried so hard to have compassion for you. And I still do, in a way. Really, I just feel sorry for these three children, being cooped up inside all the time. But that patience and compassion is wearing really, really, really effing thin right now.

Because, people? It's 11:54 p.m. The toddler is hammering on the floor and babbling and screaming. The baby is crying. Someone else is dragging around what sounds like some kind of heavy furniture. And you, the parent, are shouting.

It's all making me really frigging grumpy.

Also, people? Earlier this week, you woke me up twice in the night with noise. You woke me up at 6 a.m. this morning with noise. In one way or another, you have kept me from being able to sleep every night this week -- WITH YOUR NOISE.

And that's just the nighttime! We haven't even touched on the daytime yet.

I can hear your noise over the dishwasher. I can hear your noise over my music. I can hear your noise over a movie, and I can hear your noise even when I wear earplugs. (I feel like I'm in a bad Dr. Seuss book here -- I can hear it in the day. I can hear it in the night. It makes me and my husband want to fight. I can hear it cooking dinner. I can hear it over the printer. Etc. Ad nauseum. Because the noise. never. stops.)

I am seriously going to lose it soon. I have tried coming up there, I have tried calling the landlord, I have tried banging on the ceiling, I have tried ignoring it. Nothing. Works. And I can't stand it anymore. I just want some peace and quiet!!!

So please. PLEASE! SHUT! THE! HELL! UP!

Sincerely,

Your (trying-to-be-kind-and-patient-but-gets-really-bitchy-when-sleep-is-affected) downstairs neighbor

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