Friday, November 03, 2006

updates, and thoughts on friendship

The people upstairs are gone, praise the Lord! They moved out on Wednesday and all has been quiet here since. I didn't wear my earplugs to bed Wednesday night or Thursday night and it was great.

Brett is in Portland this weekend, doing family-like things, so I am just hanging with the girls. Tonight, Marci and I went to Prost! and had some beer (I had the Drinken Acker Dukel and also the Optimator, both of which were heavenly, and both of which have combined to give me a verrry nice beery buzz) (yay beery buzz!) and a really great, really deep conversation about everything from marriage to God to sex to the devil to kids to art. It was awesome. We left with both of us saying that we need to hang out more. It's true, too. (We met Caleb and Marci in Maine, and they were our only Christian couple friends for a while, [our only friends period for a while] until they moved to Seattle. Brett and Caleb are really good friends, too. It's so great to be in the same city again, and so rare that wives and husbands would both get along really, really well. We need to take advantage of that.) Anyway, it felt really good to talk and to be understood and to be heard, and in turn, to listen and understand, on a deep level.

And, not only did Marci and I have a great talk, but I had another great talk (on the phone) tonight with one of my dearest friends, Daisy. It was just one of those conversations that flowed, which is how every conversation we have is, even if it's been months in between phone calls or visits. She is one of the only people in my life that I can share with on every single level. I'm so glad that we are friends. It still amazes me that we were just randomly (randomly! ha! It was sooo God) paired together as roommates back in the day.

Plus, tomorrow night, Bree and I are going to have a girly sleepover night! Woo hoo! I'm looking forward to that. Ice cream, cable tv, girly movies...yay. I need some fun!

I usually hate it when Brett goes out of town; I feel all lost and lonely and sad. Hoever, this time it's proving to be wonderful, at least so far, with all the female relationship-building that's going on. I feel really surrounded by female, Christian friendship through Marci and Daisy tonight...and that is such a wonderful and refreshing feeling. I feel very blessed to have these ladies in my life.

I missed this so much while we were in Maine. With the exception of Marci (who moved here to Seattle a little less than a year after we met) and Becca, I didn't have very many close friends in Maine. There were others who lived farther away from us, with whom I wanted to be closer but but because of our physical distance, I didn't get to see very often. I regret now that I didn't try harder to build those friendships.

Especially before we found Missio Dei, I didn't have girlfriends...and I missed that so very keenly the first couple of years we were there. I remember one time specifically, about nine months or so after we moved to Maine, probably just after Caleb and Marci moved to Seattle, where I saw two female acquaintances of ours who happened to be good friends hanging out together, and they were both just laughing, so hard, at something, just like I had once done with people like Bree and Daisy. And I just stood there and watched them laugh together, and felt so very lonely at that moment because I had no one to laugh like that with. So, of course, having that lonely experience behind me made tonight all the richer, and made me realize how much of a blessing (and necessity, at least for me) it is to have female friends who will listen and love and talk and laugh and tell it like it is.

What really wound up being a savior for me while I was in Maine was the Snarkies, especially one or two. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: when I didn't have any real, physical, female community, they were there, supporting, loving, challenging, and caring -- all of them. It still blows my mind that I know them, and that nearly three years later, the group is still active. It's so amazing, and such a blessing.

I also had a really great unburdening email conversation this week with C. It felt good to get it all out and to be able to say things I'd been thinking in secret for months, and to have those feelings validated and understood.

Anyway. I hadn't had a deep, in-person conversation like the two (two! how awesome is that? not to mention my email conversation with C!) I had tonight in a very long time, and it just felt so good to unburden, to open up, to share in a way that I don't do very often. I feel very much lighter and free-er. (Yeah, I know free-er isn't a word, and that it should be more free, but it's late and I am tired and remember -- I have a beery buzz. And the more I think about grammar right now, the more that beery buzz is leaving me. So I'm just going to let that one slide.)

I should go to bed before I ramble on any more. But let me leave this on the table: I'm so thankful for my friends, each and every one of you. Thanks for encouraging me, for praying for me, for loving me, for listening to me, and for just being there. I'm truly blessed to have you all in my life.

4 comments:

Kris said...

Aren't girlfriends wonderful? And no worries... you are still a great friend!

C said...

Thankful for you too!

stacey said...

I love you too! And I'm glad you're having such a great weekend. Sounds like you've had an awesome time!

Kyt said...

I'm so happy to read that things are looking up for you! Girlfriends are absolutely essential!