Friday, January 26, 2007

I'll probably regret this.

Brett was fired from his job today. The exact words weren't the now archetypal "You're fired," but instead, the extremely unprofessional and abusive, "Get the fuck out of my office and don't come back."

My heart is breaking for him. He wants to work and to help support us and to provide for me so much. Why is this so hard? Why hasn't he been able to get a job? Why?

I don't understand. And we are both so tired of this roller coaster of emotions and this financial pit of despair that we both feel like giving up.

There are only so many times I can tell him that it will be ok (to have it turn out horribly, horribly wrong), trying to convince us both that it will be ok. It's starting to ring really hollow.

I am trying to hold on to the promises of God, that he will provide, that Brett will get a job in God's time, etc, etc, etc. And I get that when God allows us to suffer it's usually for a reason. But, can I just say, "Um, God? Please? Please just give Brett a good job? We're tired, and I don't think we can do this anymore."

I don't know what else to say. I'm just so heartsick over all of it. Brett is smart, hard working, capable, loving, and kind. He doesn't deserve this.

3 comments:

Kris said...

You're right. He doesn't deserve this. My heart breaks for you both. As little of a comfort as this may be at this time... we are still praying for you guys.

Bree said...

Oh Leen! I am so sad to hear this news. If you guys need anything just let me know. I have been wanting to do more cooking these days, but alas no one to cook for. Perhaps a "Help Feed the Walkers" campaign is in order. How about wednesday for the kick off dinner?

Isabel said...

Holy crap. Poor guy. I can't even imagine how he must be feeling right now. (And really, they said that to him? Is that even legal?!)

(and this may be lame...but here goes..)

My husband kept trying and trying to get a new job. He want on interview after interview. His heart broke when he didn't get this one specific job he wanted. He was super upset. Fast forward a few months and he gets THE MOST AWESOME JOB AT THE MOST AWESOME PLACE EVER. It made me realize that we don't know what the future holds. We just have to have faith. Faith that the Lord does know what is best for us. It's hard to do, but it's what we have to do.

Good luck to you guys. Things will work out. They always do.