At the top of my list is that Brett and I seem to grow closer every day. I don't know what it is, but after almost nine years together (!), something seems to have clicked in our relationship over the past few months and I absolutely love it. We have so much fun when we're together, we fight better, we laugh more, we talk more, we pray together more. Plus, watching him get excited about meeting this baby thrills me in an indescribable way. We've come through the fire of the past couple of years and are only stronger for it. It's wonderful.
Also at the top of my list is this baby. What can I even say? After experiencing the miscarriage, every kick and every movement feels like a gift, every good appointment a relief, every week that passes a triumph. Being able to push on my belly (like I'm doing now...well, when I take a break from typing, anyway) and feel the baby's different limbs whacking me back or moving around is amazing, and I cannot wait to meet this person. Becoming a parent is a daunting and scary thing to think about, but overall I know Brett and I are anticipating this baby's birth with joy and excitement at the fore.
My third top-of-the-list item is our financial situation. I didn't talk much about it with anyone when we were going through it, but between moving to Maine, the economy there, Brett being in school, moving back, and then Brett not having a job, we've struggled money-wise pretty much since we got married, with it at its worst about this time last year -- basically right through the holiday season and into January. It sucked. There is just no other way to describe it.
A year ago, Brett was jobless, we were financially strapped to a point that I still can't think about it without practically having a panic attack, and life seemed unbelievably stressful. The prospect of not fighting about money and of having enough money to, you know, pay our bills, let alone consider having a baby, was pretty remote. So now with both of us gainfully employed, making enough money to pay down debt, save, travel, and have fun, and with Brett having a job that he loves...it's brought a whole different feeling to life. That's not to say we're suddenly rolling in the dough (not by any means) but it's just nice not to have to worry as much and to be able to do fun things if we want to.
We were talking over dinner a week or so ago about Brett's job, and how thankful he is to have it, and how much he enjoys what he does.
"God really provided amazingly with this job, didn't he?" Brett asked. "It really is the perfect job for me."
And it is. It's perfect in ways neither of us could have imagined, and I am so deeply thankful for it. I know so many people told us when he was jobless that the right thing would come along at the right time. After a while, I couldn't take that anymore. I didn't want to hear it. Rejection after rejection loomed so large in our lives; I sort of stopped believing he'd ever find something. So to look back and see how faithful God was, and how he provided this job at the perfect time (the same week as the miscarriage)...it blows me away.
Anyway, there are, of course, lots of other things I'm thankful for:
- Our families
- Our home
- Our friends
- Our church
Basically, bottom line, I am beyond thankful for God's amazing provision for us. The glory belongs to him. We haven't done anything to deserve this; it's truly through his grace that we are where we are right now. In the past year, he has fulfilled Ephesians 3:20 in our lives, doing immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine. I'm so excited to see what he has in store for us in the next year!
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."