Wednesday, January 02, 2008

fun with speakerphone, or, how to embarass the socks off of Kathleen

After my 38 week doctor's appointment today (for which I waited an hour to see a doctor I'd never met before [my doctor is on vacation] for all of about 7 minutes, in which she told me that I'm still only one centimeter dilated and 75% effaced, and that first babies are often late, but, well, at least I haven't gained much weight -- gee, thanks), I called my mom as I usually do to give her the (rather discouraging) report.

We proceeded to have a two-minute-long conversation about my appointment, my lack of progress with regard to my cervix, my grumpiness, my intense desire to go home and lie down instead of going back to work, etc. -- basically normal mom-daughter 38-weeks-pregnant stuff.

Our conversation was interrupted when I suddenly found myself on hold, listening to an annoying on-hold commercial about how "[Mom's Company] can meet all your construction needs..."

Confused, I waited a minute, then hung up and called my mom back.

"Why did you put me on hold?!?"

Mom, trying to stifle a laugh, said, "I didn't!"

"Well, then what in the heck happened?" I asked.

"Uh, well, you were kind of on speakerphone, so someone else put you on hold," she said, now beginning to laugh uproriously.

"Wait. Wait. Speakerphone?"

"Yeah, speakerphone. So someone put you on hold so people couldn't hear it anymore."

"PEOPLE?! What people!? YOUR ENTIRE COMPANY just heard the recap of my doctor's appointment?!?!?!"

"Um...hahahaha...yeah...You were on all-page to the whole compan-hehehehehe! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA," she said, as she dissolved into gales of laughter and I stood in the lobby of my doctor's building, aghast, fighting back tears at the thought that my mom's entire company now knows the details of my cervix and how much I want to be done being pregnant.

After I hung up in a teary huff, my mom emailed me to say that apparently only a little of our conversation was broadcast to my mom's co-workers, primarily the part about how I'm tired and how I didn't want to go back to work this afternoon. I'm not sure if I believe that...not that I think my mom would lie, but maybe her co-workers didn't tell her everything? I don't know.

Still. Of course, it figures that something like that WOULD happen to me, especially on a day when I'm so grumpy I can barely be civil.

Other than sharing my body's intimate workings with my mom's company, I haven't been doing much lately other than knitting and playing lots of Tetris because, let's face it, I'm effing tired. My main thought for the week is this: Thank God that Friday is my last day of work! Because I really don't think I could make it through the next two days if I didn't have that light at the end of the tunnel.

I'm exhausted, and whiny, and don't want to answer any more questions about how I'm feeling (I'm in pain and grumpy, thank you!), or how far along I am (still over two weeks away from my due date!), or how much my back must hurt (a lot!), or how big my stomach is (ginormous!), and I don't know how much more I can handle people exclaiming, "What?!? What are YOU still doing here?! You haven't had that baby YET?" The snarky part of me really wants to reply either, in a very dry voice, "Clearly, no, I haven't," or else, "Actually, yes, I did have the baby, but I liked having the belly and wearing maternity clothes so much I decided to keep it."

I know, I know, people ask questions and make comments because they care and are curious and are excited. But I'm just tired of talking about it, and there's not much I can say that isn't completely bitchy. So I keep my answers to monosyllables, and smile, and pray for patience -- a lot of patience.


Anyway, moving on to something cheerier...

I had a fantastic visit with Daisy and Claire this weekend. It was far too brief. As we ate our breakfast of organic yogurt & vanilla pancakes topped with as much fresh fruit as we could stand, we talked about how much we would love to live in the same city again, something that hasn't happened since 2001. We decided that if it ever happens (and oh, how I hope it does), we would get together weekly with our kids so they could play and we could talk and just spend time together. Sounds heavenly to me!

Friends like Daisy and Claire are the best kind. We can just fall back into the same easy companionship that we had when we lived together almost eight years ago, and although we are all very different people now, it still works and we still connect in the same deep way.

I miss them both so much. They are truly the sort of life-long friends I always hoped I'd make when I went away to college. I'm very blessed to know them.

Daisy, me, and Claire -- 12/29/07


Isabel said...

Oh man...sorry to hear that your mom's company now knows way too much about you!! That is crazy.

And sorry to hear that you are still pregnant and still super uncomfortable. Just a little longer.....

Kris said...

Kathleen, I know you already know this, but it is so worth it. Baby will be here soon. Let's hope for the weekend! =-)

Rachel said...

Two weeks can seem like an eternity, but once your little one arrives, it will fly by.