Thursday, February 28, 2008

another first -- not so fun

Today was our first one of "those days," as I've heard my friends call them.

Elanor has been fussy (read: inconsolably screaming) nearly all day, unless she is nursing or I am holding her just. exactly. right. And that just exactly right position tends to vary by the second, apparently, because it seems like she is only calm for a very brief period once we find a comfy position for her and she calms down. Either that or by the time I get her calm, my leg or arm is totally asleep and I have to move it because it hurts so badly.

My normal tricks, like letting her suck on a finger, or putting her on her belly, or wearing her in the Moby, or dancing around the living room and singing to her are not working at all. I have a headache, I am sore from nursing her so much, I have no idea how I am going to manage eating dinner like this, let alone how I am going to cook it. Plus, Brett is out tonight so I am flying solo. Him going out is something we'd planned on for at least a week -- not that that makes it any easier, I'm just saying.

It's frustrating that she's so fussy today. We've been out and about almost every day for the past two weeks, and I was really hoping to just take it easy today and rest a bit. But that's hard to do when your normally mellow baby has turned fussy. So now, of course, I'm not only feeling frustrated because she has been grumpy today, but I'm also feeling stir-crazy from having been home alone pretty much alone all day. (Brett was here for about an hour, during which I was able to switch the laundry and shower.)

When Brett left, I went upstairs to change Elanor's diaper and sleeper, since she'd somehow peed through both of them. As she screamed on the changing table (a place where she is usually totally calm), I had to fight back tears myself. Ugh. That's the first time that's happened since she's been born, that I've been so upset and frustrated with her that I wanted to cry.

Sigh. If I thought she'd sleep, I'd just go to bed in a couple of hours in hopes that tomorrow, and with it, a fresh start, would come a little sooner.

(Ok, just as I finished typing this, she seemed to calm down and I was just able to put her in the Moby...I hope she'll be content for at least a little while!)

2 comments:

Xin Lei said...

Hmm yes, it definitely sounds like it was "one of those days" for you! Hopefully tomorrow will be better! Every day, I just tell myself to get through that one day...and you'll be amazed how as each day passes, your threshhold for difficult things gets higher and higher. You will look back at yourself in 3, 6, and 12 months and not believe all that you have accomplished and all that you've sustained. Kathleeny, remember...you are one amazing gal!

Rachel said...

Oh I have had those days! If you really start to feel frustrated, make sure she has a clean diaper and is fed and burped. Then lay her in her crib and go take a shower. She may cry or scream but it will give you a few minutes of peace to calm down and relax a little. I think when I got tense it made LG cry more intensely.

LG seemed to cry more when he got overtired or over stimulated. I learned that sometimes he needs alone time just like I do.

A book I found helpful is "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weisbluth. Even if you don't think Elanor is colicky, read that chapter. It really gave me some peace.

Another helpful thing to remember is that sometimes babies just cry. It doesn't mean you have done something wrong.

You are a great mom! Good luck today!