Monday, April 07, 2008

bleh.

So, I go back to work on Wednesday. Sorry if I'm beating a dead horse by talking about it again, but it's all I think about these days.

Yeah. Thankfully we have the first month covered -- Brett is going to stay home some, a friend is going to watch her for a day or two, my sister is coming for a few days, and both of our moms are coming for a week.

Still, it's going to be hard. I keep telling myself that I'll get through it and everything will be fine (and I will and everything will be) but that doesn't help. I almost wish it were Wednesday evening already so that I was done with the dreaded first day.

The past three months have been incredible. I love being home, and I adore being a mama. Not to toot my own horn too much, but I feel like it's finally something I'm really good at! I mean, I guess I was good at being a journalist -- at least I'd like to think so -- but that was long hours with little pay and lots of frustration. The fact that I loved it wasn't worth the tradeoffs of being up until 2 a.m. writing stupid stories about city council meetings.

Being a mom is way better. Sure, it's long hours, and yeah, there are frustrating parts some of which do take place at 2 a.m.), but seeing Elanor smile at me is worth more than any paycheck I have ever received.

So anyway, that's what's on my mind this week. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers, please, this Wednesday -- it's going to be a very long ten-and-a-half hours.

9 comments:

Andy said...

I'll be thinking about you. I know how very hard it can be. If you need to chat you know where to find me.

I wont lie, it's one of the hardest things I have ever had to do...twice. I may have cried a little (ok, maybe a lot) those first few days, but it does get better. Promise.

Xin Lei said...

You're going to do great...and I will certainly be thinking of you. One thing I've been realizing lately is that I'm much more comfortable leaving Evangeline NOW, because I had to leave her before for work. It's nice to be able to go out on dates with Dustin and things like that...whereas a lot of mothers I know who didn't go back to work have a really hard time even leaving their children in the church nursery! I have really appreciated this sense of freedom. Wednesday...big day for both of us!!

Kris said...

We're are so thinking of you and praying for you. I'm glad you have a month figured out with people you know who will be taking care of your little one. ((HUGS))

Rachel said...

You are going to do great. Check in with whoever is watching Elanor often and carry tons of pictures with you. It won't be the same, but I bet it will be harder on you than on her. Besides you will enjoy her so much more when you get home.

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow

Isabel said...

It's hard to go back. But, knowing E is with those that love her, it will be easier.

And I love that you feed good about being a mom. That makes my heart feel good!

Isabel said...

Oh, and don't forget to enter my give-away today. I know it's something you'd be interested in!

Carolina Girl said...

Good luck tomorrow. Being a working mom is the hardest - but by far the best - thing I have ever done.

Kara

C said...

You know that you'll be in my thoughts!

Anonymous said...

Oh my love! I know that today is Thursday and it is your second day, but know that with time it will get easier and He will make sure that your life falls into place, whatever and whereever that may be. You are in my thoughts and prayers!!! love you, molly