Thursday, April 10, 2008

making it

Thanks to all of you for your comments and thoughts and prayers. I won't deny it; the past two days have been hard. It's not that I mind working or mind being back -- on the contrary, it's fun to be with my co-workers again -- it's that I mind being away from Elanor. I miss her terribly during the day.

The worst part was leaving her yesterday morning. I cried for much of the bus ride; I'm sure my fellow riders on the 17 express thought I was weird. I wasn't worried for her; I knew she and Brett would have a good day (and they did). I was just sad that I wasn't going to be with her all day.

However, the day got better, and it was fun to see my co-workers and to show off pictures of Elanor. And having Brett bring her down to see me at lunch helped a lot.

Overall, things have gone really smoothly the past two days. She hasn't gotten hysterical, even though she's only eaten a teensy bit during the day. She's definitely reverse cycling to make up for it, though, as she ate for over an hour straight last night. (Her feedings are usually 10-15 minutes, max.) But I don't mind. I want to keep breastfeeding her as long as possible, ideally well past a year, so if she'll wait to get the bulk of her calories from me then I'm fine with that.

I'm definitely tired. She nursed from about 8:15 to past 9:30 last night, and it was all I could do not to fall asleep while she was eating. My original intent had been to nurse her to sleep and then get up and do some things (like laundry) but I soon realized that just wasn't practical, given how tired I was and the fact that I had to get up at 5:30 if I was going to shower in the morning before Brett left. So instead of getting up to do chores, I just changed into my jammies, crawled into bed, and snuggled her up while she nursed yet again. I was asleep by 9:40...and it was lovely!

So, yeah. That's the update. It's going ok. I don't mind being back at work, although I miss her something fierce throughout the day. We're working on refining our routines for the morning and evening, so that we can get things done and yet get to bed at a reasonable hour or get to work on time, but that will all fall into place eventually so I'm not too concerned.

For now, it's enough to just come home in the evening to her smile when she sees me, and then snuggle her close all night long.


Kris said...

We're glad to hear things are going well. We're still thinking of you and praying for you.

Rachel said...

I'm glad to hear work is going OK.

Is Elanor actually eating that whole time or just enjoying your company? If she is eating the whole time, you must have an amazing milk supply!